Yesterday, I went on a date with my son. Yes, I date my son. Not just that I took him with me to run a few errands. No, we got dressed up and we went to a play. Just me and him. He put on a “work shirt” as he calls it ( a shirt with a collar and buttons), and I even put on a dress. When I walked out of my room, Koa looked at me and told me I looked pretty. Then he said, ” Mommy, you’re a babe!” Clearly he listens to what his dad says. It was sweet and it was genuine. Then, we left and went to see James and The Giant Peach. It was his first play, and something special we shared together.
See, I date my son. Sometimes I ask him and sometimes he will randomly ask me if we can go on a date. Sometimes that means just grabbing lunch at In n Out, and sometimes it means getting dressed up and going to a play. But it always means going out just the two of us. It’s a chance for me to share some of my interests with him, like plays and musicals, and it’s a chance for him to talk to me completely uninterrupted about school, trucks, his friends, or his favorite Berenstain Bears book.
As he gets older, our dates are changing. We used to go out to Wendy’s and I would eat my chili while he babbled about things I couldn’t quite make out or understand, but I nodded in agreement just the same. Now, we have conversations. He asks me questions and wants and waits for my answers. I ask him about school and he tells me all the new things he is learning. He will ask me about “when I was little,” and I get to tell him stories. Sometimes, it’s me simply listening as he goes on and on about his favorite trucks that he saw while we were driving, or reminiscing about when we went to Disneyland.
I can’t wait to share these experiences with his brother, too. Finding time to be alone with each child is always a challenge when you have more than one. Kai will never know a time being the only child. But, I want him to also have these special dates with me. I him to be able to have his voice heard individually sometimes.
As they get older, I hope that we continue these dates. I hope that they continues to want to share their interests with me and share in mine. That they still ask my advice and want to hear what I have to say. I hope that they will continue to ask and value my opinion. That they still tell mommy she is pretty and that they carry on their respect for me to other women. I hope that they continue to tell me about school and shares their new knowledge. As they get older, I hope they feels safe telling me about their relationships. I hope they shares their aspirations,fears, and desires with me. I just want them to share.
As long as he is asking and willing, I will continue to date my son. I realize that one day he won’t be so interested anymore. His interests will change and he will no longer be interested in spending his weekends with his mom. And that’s ok. But, I still hope we can carve out some time for just the two of us to reconnect and share.
Until then, I will cherish every single date, moment and conversation I can get from them.