Remember that book from back in the day? Alexander and his day from you know what? Gum in his hair, wet sweaters, no dessert, let’s just move to Australia!
Well, that about sums up my weekend.
In an effort to be “real,” it is definitely not all cookies and sweetness around here all the time. It is loud and chaotic and and sometimes, well…
*Heads up this is a long post…Thanks for sticking around.
It started with my genius idea to let my mom go home on Saturday. She’s been here for 2 weeks helping me with a barrage of stuff around here, not to mention giving me “me” time to breathe. Then, in a momentary lapse of common sense, I told her she could go home on Saturday. when there were two more days left in the weekend. I should mention my husband was out of town for the weekend. It’s like all hell broke loose the moment she stepped out of the car at the airport.
No joke. As soon as she stepped out of the car Kai started wailing like he was never going to see her again. Koa started in too. Then Kai continued to wail most of the 40 minute drive back home. all of this at 7 o’clock in the glorious morning. He finally stopped crying, and fell asleep…10 minutes before we drove into our driveway. Did he go back to bed when we got home? Of course not. So, Netflix and a bowl of popcorn to rescue, ’cause Mommy had stuff to do.
I attempted to clean the house. I even vacuumed and mopped the floor. Which of course invited a cup of milk to be spilled and popcorn crushed into the carpet. Kai pooped his pants (Mickey Mouse underwear) and proceeded to have a meltdown because he pooped on Mickey.
Then we had errands to run. Why did I even attempt this you ask? Because I’m crazy. So, out the door we went. I had to return something at The Rack, which was fine until we didn’t look at kids shoes. Oh no! (enter eye roll here) but we did escape without crying.
On to Hobby Lobby. I needed red thread. That’s it. In the process of walking from the fabric department of that enormous store, we walked past the Fall decor. Koa caught a glimpse of a Berenstain Bears book. Don’t ask how; with those glasses that kid has eagle eyes. Well, I said no to buying the book. I ALREADY HAVE IT! But, oh heavens, did that open a can of worms. He cried and whined through the whole store. Not going to lie, I started to laugh at the whole situation. At him and his crying, at his brother acting like all was well, at the barrage of looks from old ladies, at the irritated glances from employees who I am sure were praying I would just leave since I guarantee the people at the other end of the store could hear him.
Then we went home. enter nap time. Somehow they never “need” naps, yet fall asleep in minutes. So I did get a couple of hours of quiet, to re-mop the floor and vacuum the rug and clean the kitchen. Then just as I was going to sit down, they woke up.
The rest of the day was filled with the normal brotherly fighting and mommy lack of patience and ended with cereal for dinner, because Mommy was just done.
Then Sunday rolled around. My day started at the lovely hour of 5am with a 4 year old yelling at me that I “needed” to wake up and come get him NOW! Of course, his yelling woke up his brother, and that kid is no fun if he doesn’t sleep. So, I started the day off just delighted. I couldn’t get breakfast right. I made waffles; one didn’t want waffles. I made cereal; one didn’t want cereal. Fine, switch!
Then, we had a friend’s baby blessing to attend at 9am. I got myself ready while I planted them in front of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. I burned my hand while curling my hair. I dropped my mascara wand and got mascara all over the floor. I ripped a contact taking it out of case. My brand new can of hairspray fell off the counter and the top broke off. Awesome. I grabbed a dress and threw it on, and ran to change the boys.
Koa didn’t like the jeans I told him to wear. Deal with it! Kai ran away from me as I tried to change him into a pull up (I am not ready to brave the outside world with regular underwear just yet). He thought it was funny; me not so much! I finally wrangled him into clothes, got shoes on them both and into the car. By this time, I was already sweating and exhausted. It had to get better right? Wrong.
We get to the church, and I chose a seat in the back. Thank goodness because we hadn’t sat down for 5 minutes when Kai threw his Mickey book (that kept him occupied for all of 3 minutes), tried to climb off the chair to grab it, slipped and fell head first into the chair in front of him. Thus the crying ensued. Which Koa took as an invitation to be loud as well. So, as quickly and slyly as I could (HA!) I grabbed them both and slipped into the lobby. They both stopped yelling and crying and instead started running in circles and down the hallway. They acted were having “races” and Koa was yelling about winning! Kai was “Ready Go” at the top of his lungs. I swear they acted as though they had never been in public before. I was mortified. I went to leave, and realized I had left my purse and the diaper bag in the sanctuary. I had to try to slip back in, during a prayer…of course right?! So, I wait. Grab my stuff and slip out, vowing that I am never taking my children out into civilized society ever again! I text my friend to let her know we left and wouldn’t be able to make it to the reception later.
The drive home I called my mom, trying to remember why on earth I let her go home yesterday!
Currently, both kids are taking naps…against their will. It may be of their best interest to stay in the room for the rest of the day. Don’t worry, they have toys to play with and I will provide snacks.
Sometimes, despite our best efforts and intentions, kids have minds of their own, and we are left to steer them in the right direction and correct behaviors no matter how hard or embarrassing or terrible it makes us feel as parents. My kids don’t get to do whatever they want, and they do have consequences.
I yelled at my kids today. I yelled a lot. I was upset and I was embarrassed and I let them know it. I know Kai is 2, he is just starting to understand; but Koa knows how to behave. He is so smart and so stubborn. He is testing the waters and my patience. He is testing me.
All I wanted to do today was sit down and cry.
I did sit down and cry. I cried because I yelled. I cried because I was embarrassed. I cried because I felt like I was somehow not a good mom because my kids acted like they did. I cried because my son was in his room crying and telling me what a mean mommy I am. I cried because it seemed like nothing I did these past few days was going right. I just sat in the room and cried.
And you know what? I feel better.
As moms, we are expected to be strong and let it go. But, sometimes we can’t. Sometimes we need send the kids to their room so we can sit in our room and have a good cry. Sometimes we need to call our moms so they can give us a pep talk and assure us that we are doing the right thing. Sometimes we just need someone else to tell us “You are a great mom.”
Motherhood is hard. Sometimes it’s really hard. There are those terrible, horrible, no good very bad days. But, maybe those help us see how great the other days are. Here’s to hoping tomorrow is one of those really great days.
“Or maybe, I’ll just move to Australia.”